The Mustache Game

One byproduct of being incredibly ADD is that I have a hard time watching movies more than once. I need something new. A change of some kind! Sometimes when I re-watch a movie I purposely focus on what's going on in the background or look at the character who's not talking. That can help in a pinch but really, the best way to re-watch a movie is with the mustache game. 

The mustache game is simple. You cut out a mustache shape from something you have lying around like an apartment flyer or unpaid bill and then you tape it to your television. Then you put in a movie, sit back, and wait for it. Here we have our friend Mr. Frodo Baggins playing the game like a real pro. 

What a champ.

The best placement for the mustaches is usually right in the very middle and then if that's just not enough for you, try to use (fancy art term incoming because this is serious) the rule of thirds. 

See where the lines intersect? Perfect for mustaches.

I will also say that this is the best way to wind down a party when it's 3 am and you want to let the neighbors sleep a bit. There's still drinking but less yelling. I won't say no yelling because there is nothing more exciting than a mustache lining up perfectly.

That being said, I know some people are less artistically inclined than others so I decided to make a nice little mustache printable for all of your mustachioed needs. Enjoy!

 So many choices!

Be a Dick!

I wasn't going to write anything today. Instead I was going to come up with some new ideas for rush flyers for the upcoming semester. Naturally, this led to a highly sophisticated Google search entitled "Rush Flyers." Scrolling through the images, my eyes settled on this masterpiece.

It's even in comic sans!

I'm not even going to address the multifaceted ugliness of this design. Okay. Maybe a little... COMIC SANS?! REALLY? And don't even get me started on those girls. They look like muppets. Or like the Canadians from South Park.

Oh my god..

But honestly, the real reason for this post is that they made it so so easy for me to do this:

Like editing candy away from a baby.

Curly Hair, Don't Care

People talk to me about my curly hair all of the time. Mainly, (especially if they don't have curly hair themselves) they talk about how lucky I am. I'm pretty certain that this is how people imagine my day to day life.

 I do regularly pose on rocks but this is beside the point.

 Don't get me wrong, I do like it when people complement my hair. But when they say they wish they had hair like mine, I tend to sigh and say something along the lines of "Aw honey.... No." because what you're seeing is the end result of a process so long and tedious that you would dread it every night if you had to go through it. I won't get into it here but seriously. It's a pain.

About 20 minutes into brushing, your arm starts to give out.

Then you get to slather it in products and wrap it all up real special like you're a pirate or maybe a gangster because your curls can't just behave themselves. They have to go to curl prison first. Besides that, once they're all nice and pretty (or not you know because that's how curly hair works) you can make the next big decision of your day.

MARVEL AT THE CHOICES

But the best part has to be the awkward elevator rides.

suuuuuuuper awkward.

But in the end I guess it is kind of awesome.

Raptors and Serious Weather Events

I would just like to point out that I still have not seen Sharknado, which by all respects is already my favorite movie even though all I've seen so far is this picture

and this gif

Why doesn't anyone understand how badly I need to see this movie?

Anyways, since this is all I've been thinking about for the past week and a half, I've been trying to come up with a really good syfy channel movie of my own. Usually the formula is animal + animal = blockbuster but then they started taking two hybrids and fighting them like in my all-time favorite movie ever ever ever: Mega Python vs. Gateroid. But NOW syfy has stepped it up a notch because, apparently, now we're doing animal + natural disaster. Lots of people are bringing in their own ideas for the next one.

But I really think mine is a winner. BEHOLD, after a whole 15 minutes of photoshop, I give you Velocicane.

It's beautiful. I did my best to pick out the scariest fonts available but it turns out vanilla photoshop isn't that great in the horrific fonts department so i made them glow menacingly instead. The plot is that basically some scientists somewhere hatch baby velociraptors and foolishly raise them to do something silly velociraptors aren't supposed to do like a pageant or something and then somehow the velociraptors end up in a hurricane (insert science here) and they rain down on the unsuspecting citizens of a seaside town. They closed their doors to the rain and the wind, but little did they know what the real terror is! I also made the velociraptor radioactive at the last minute so we'll have to see where that goes.

I Don't Know How to Blog

  I have no idea how to blog. I think a blog is kind of like a diary except it's okay for other people to come in and read it? So I guess basically it is Facebook except people aren't forced to see it while they scroll down their newsfeed. So here no one can be all judgy because they came to me and I can post 20 doodles in a day because I feel like it. Right? Right. ...  Here's a fancy platypus.

He was just going to be a regular platypus but then he got a mustache.